Ode to Corry Brokken | Those were abortions, not miscarriages

CORRY

(Corry sings to herself Milord)

To me you are a lord, so thoroughly a gentleman
That I get shy when I pass you
You don't know me milord, I'm a piece of street
That when it gets dark leaves the windows open
And when you get lonely, tired of being happy
Come to me milord, and I'll shut the curtain

Oh
Are you there yet?
I was just inside myself

(pause)

I love to sing
I actually always sing
I don't sing out loud
Then softly to myself
That's the nicest thing I do
so

(pause)

It sings inside
so to speak

(long pause)

Shall I sing
a song
I do want to sing a song
For you
Tell me
I'll be your jukebox
One touch of a button
And I'll sing a song
What do you want to hear
Say it
Or don't you dare
You think that's cheeky
There's no need to be afraid
I know lots of songs
There's bound to be something
that you like
that gives a little joy
or a bit of comfort
or a bit of love

(pause)

Shall I lend a hand
I'll mention some titles
and if you recognise anything
something you want to hear
then you say stop
OK
all you have to do
is say stop
you understand

Okay
Here they come

You drive me crazy
Now, more than ever
or
Wien, Wien nur du allein
That's what I did my very first audition for
for KRO radio for the programme The Springboard
when I was eighteen
that was great
even when I got off the train in Hilversum I was really excited
that it was all happening here
and that I was really standing there
in the studio
in front of a huge square microphone
Somewhere over my head someone asked me what I wanted to sing
That was Wien, Wien nur du allein
I was rejected for that
with tears
I thought it would never work out with me again

(pause)

and otherwise
Just like back then
I won the song contest with that
When was that again
1956 or 1957
makes me think
I'm not wrong
because I am so easily mistaken
'56 was the first time
with
yes of course
with Forever Over
then I didn't win unfortunately
but in 1957 I won
with Just like back then
I'll sing to you Just like that
I remember that very well
I won the Eurovision Song Contest with that
that was really
incredible
do you understand
not only the national
you understand
but the really big Eurovision Song Contest
very special
I broke through in one fell swoop
in one fell swoop I was world famous
not only in the Netherlands
but also in Germany
I was really world-famous in Germany for a long time
they still know me there
those Germans were lying at my feet
very special
Yes, it was a long time ago
Seems like a kind of past life
Of course it was
in a way
I was still married to Slees then
Yes that's what I call him Slees
Most people also know him as Slees
but his name is of course Sleeswijk
René Sleeswijk
for years my husband and manager
business and private
that was of course doomed to
yes well
I was also happy with him for a long time
except that he
how it started
between him and me
because he was already married
when she finally wanted to divorce him
because we were just waiting for that
then I said
Slees
now we can finally get married
but the way he reacted
so
so hard
'Don't think I'm going to marry you'

(pause)

But of course he was very emotional
about everything

(pause)

and he was much older huh
so
he was like a father to me
not like my own father
no he wasn't
no not at all

(deep sigh)

My father
I don't like talking about him
he ruined my life
he ruined my mother's life

(silence)

In the Second World War
he got the wrong friends
and became an alcoholic overnight
Champagne flowed profusely when the Germans came over to our house
and not only in the glasses
also regularly along the walls
and on the floor
There was a lot of laughing and singing
German songs like 'Lily Marleen' and 'Und wir fahren und wir fahren und wir fahren
against England ahoy' with at the end that 'ahoy' already a kind of shout
'AHOY!'
and they just thought we were having a good time
my mum and me
the neighbourhood started talking about us
They thought Mummy was having an affair with one of those
such a blond muscular Germanic man
Otto
was his name
He came several times with these huge bunches of red roses
She must have been flattered
no wonder
such a guy
just like Rutger Hauer
and then in a blue-grey uniform
lots of stars and bars on the collar
as if my mum had ended up in a UFA film with one of her film heroes
a kind of fairy tale
You wanted to believe in that
in those days
But then the marital quarrels started
Of 'dirty whore' and 'slut' and so on
And towards the end of the war
he was never sober again
There were hard knocks
Mummy regularly had a black eye or a fat lip
my father must have seen the storm coming
After the liberation he went 'on a journey
so we were told
to a camp
a word we could not imagine at all
We hardly noticed that dad was no longer at home
we actually found it quite peaceful like this

(pause)

but Slees
maybe that's why a father figure
the father I dreamed of
I looked up to him
he could do anything with me
because
I was completely idolised by him
I would do anything for him
anything
anything
that sometimes went very far

(pause)

two miscarriages

(pause)

no
those were abortions
no miscarriages
two abortions

(pause)

he more or less forced me
that would be better for my career

(silence)

while I

(silence)

and I also wanted to do everything very well
that's what you get when you're 'wrong'
because you're 'wrong' yourself with a background like that
with a father like that
and then you want to do everything right
then you become a perfectionist
so I did everything for him

(silence)

and he took it all for granted

(silence)

but he is no more
no longer part of my life
I mean
Not for a long time
part of my past of course
But that's gone

(sings Past For Good)

'Gone forever
Now we'll never be together again
my darling
He's dead anyway
cancer
tja

(pause)

cried the press of heartbreak
so silly
he had been in another relationship for a long time
while we were still together
but he had concealed that
and when I broke up with him
I had done it
The whole press was all over me
typical

(pause)

But now
am now already
let me think
almost 25 years
happily married as a
Master. Mrs Meyerink-Brokken
yes really Master
because I studied law
yes
that's where I started
I went to university
by then I was 43
I already had a whole career behind me.
from cashier at Vroom and Dreesman
to dental assistant
to assistant in a printing company 'de Vooruitgang
to singer
I went on to make a career
as a lawyer
together with my second husband
business and private again
how life is not
incredible

(briefly sings Much too good to be true)

Far too good to be true
Far too beautiful
A world full of sunshine
la la
la la la for me
Are you, are you

Shall I sing that for you
Far too good to be true
That's quite a nice song
Perhaps a little childish
Too romantic
That is possible
Otherwise
You've sung the song a hundred times before
Do you remember
The little old lady
A house is not yet a home
Milord
Milord is by Piaf
was very popular in France at the time
really a hit
and when I sang that
it was so unacceptable
really offensive
because I sang about a hooker
the press all over me again
that prudish Holland

(sings Milord)

But there you are milord, a man stands in front of a woman
Life is so short, happiness is so unfaithful
Come into my house milord, and have fun with me
And when morning comes, it will all be over again
Whoever hides with me milord, must be happy
But no, you cry milord, does loneliness hurt so much
Yes, come milord, smile at me no, it's nothing!
Come on, try it now, it's better, you see!
Come on, laugh, milord, come on, sing!
Lalalalalala, lalalalalalala, lalalalalalala, lalalalalalalalalala
Dance milord! lalalalalalala lalalalalalala lalalalalalala
Bravo milord! lalalalalala lalalalalala lalalalalala lalalalala
Well done milord! lalalalalalala lalalalalala Lalalalalala
Lalalajamtadaa lalalalalalala lalalalalalalalalalaaaaarrh

Did you like it
tell me
tell me honestly
I can take a punch
by now
If you don't like it
for example
but if you like it
you can say so too
If you want to hear another song
you're welcome back
I often sit on the terrace
at home in Laren
You can find me there too
I don't mind at all if you address me
I like it
If you recognise me
well
see
I'll see
Goodbye then
Goodbye
till next time
Bye-bye

(She waves)