Ode to Bregje Vreugdenhil | You immediately impressed me in an unforgettable way

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Dear Bregje,

I am writing to you because I like the fact that we have gotten to know each other so well recently. Why a letter you might think? Because I think it's important to have something tangible in these days of fleetingness and the internet.

I will never forget that first meeting of ours. You immediately made an unforgettable impression on me. No idea if you've heard this before, but I imagine I'm not the only one who feels this way. After all these years of losing sight of each other, now is the time for a friendship that stays.

You told me a lot that first time about your family and what it was like growing up in Amsterdam. When I got home, I thought I still had so much I wanted to ask: that's why this letter.

Bregje Francina Vreugdenhil. Your surname reminded me of other neighbours of mine when I lived in Deventer. No family I know now. What was it like growing up as the eldest daughter in Van Oldenbarneveldtstraat 64 together with your parents, no fewer than six brothers and two sisters? Your mother must have been very busy with all of you. All that laundry from such a big family and cooking every day! Were you in the same primary school where your father was a teacher? Was he a strict teacher at school but a sweet father at home?

You told me you loved needlework and learnt so many techniques at the Amsterdam Household School in the Vondelpark. Seventeen you were when you left there. I was surprised when you showed me all those scaled pieces you made in those days. Knitting, embroidery, sewing, crochet and even macramé! One of my favourites is the little nightcap with that cute tassel. But also all those other little garments you made partly with the sewing machine, how beautiful they look! You did point out to me that your needlework teacher didn't like everything: uneven holes and a crooked band. Did you pull your hair comments or shrug your shoulders?

That you kept those 97 pieces of work in a folder, I love that!

It was quite something to hear some of your family history. Your sister Margaretha who was admitted to an Insane Asylum in Zutphen at the age of 22, your sister Maria who died when she was 13. And then your brothers Gerrit and Adrianus. The first who left for New York at 22 and the other for the East Indies at 24. What was that like for your parents?

You told me you were still a minor before the law when you married. You were 19 and your husband, Abraham Fortunatus de Rochemont was 20 years older. Was it a shock for your parents that you came home with him or did they understand immediately? I think the latter because the age difference between your father and mother was also over 20 years. Did you call him Bram?  My first husband's first name was also Abraham and his call sign was Bram. B and B, or Bram and Bregje, that alliterates nicely! And then he was also a bookbinder by profession. You lived near where I live. From my house it's a fifteen-minute walk to 366 Rustenburgerstraat. How happy you must have been when Bregje and Maria were born and after some wandering you ended up in Amersfoort.

Was living in Amersfoort a big difference from living in Amsterdam? You were a midwife by then. How nice that as a woman you were able to do this at a time when it was not always common for women to work outside the home.

How sad you must have been when Bram, your great love died at the age of 76. You were 56 at the time and you lived in Nieuwer-Amstel. Did crafts help you during that time of mourning and being alone?

And what was it like for you that both daughters got divorced? Maria left for São Paulo in 1948 after her divorce with her new Viennese love Karl Johann Kastner. Did you ever visit there? Why Bregje divorced at a later age raises many questions for me. Did you understand it then?

You see, I still have many questions. Now I think you understand why I wrote you this letter. Maybe you'll feel like talking about it in more detail next time.

See you soon, I hope,

Kind regards from Jan

View the folder of textile works on the Amsterdam Museum's Collection Online.