Ode to Jeannette Kok | She stood at the cradle of the HIV association

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Dear, special Jeannette Kok,

In the early 1980s, when the first men in Amsterdam were hospitalized with the symptoms of AIDS, you were there for them. You were in the right place at the right time. As a social nurse at the GGD, you were among the first to come into contact with these men, who were affected by a disease that was little understood at the time, but which turned out to be deadly and potentially contagious. You had already made a name for yourself within Amsterdam's gay community through your previous work with hepatitis B, and through the contact research of the first AIDS patients you soon came into contact with those carrying the disease.

Soon your little office at the AMC turned into a place where terrified young men gathered. Men who had just received bad news from their doctor, and who were not so much looking for medical answers as for a listening ear. You offered them coffee, good conversation, and above all the space to share their fundamental questions: 'How do I tell my family? How do I tell it at work?' AIDS was a big taboo at the time, but with you they could talk about it, openly and without judgment.

You immediately recognized the enormous psychosocial care needs of people with AIDS, a need that formal care at that time was not addressing. Together with psychologist David Stein, you initiated groups of fellow sufferers in which people with AIDS could support each other and share their stories. From these groups, the HIV Association eventually emerged. And although the founders knew their own time was limited, they chose to ask you to serve on the board, saying, “We are dying, and you are not.”

Thus you became not only a support and advocate for people with AIDS, but also an advocate of stature. For more than 20 years, you dedicated yourself to fighting the stigmas surrounding HIV and AIDS. In doing so, you always stood in the service of the people themselves: you let them tell their own story. And if things did go wrong, for example during a TV recording or interview, you stood up for them and protected them. In addition to this advocacy, you organized the first memorial events for AIDS Memorial Day, in which you not only focused on the mourning for the deceased, but also kept the memory of them alive.

You have done so much, Jeannette. You broke taboos, gave space to grief and created a community where people with AIDS could find and support each other. With this tribute I want to keep the memory of you alive, because although you may not have thought of yourself as a nurse, after your death you were still praised as a nurse pur sang. You played an indispensable role in the informal care of people with AIDS, a role that should never be forgotten.

Thank you, Jeannette, for all you have meant.