Ode to Jill Pattiradjawane | To me you are a true role model

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You were born in the Dutch East Indies in a patriarchal environment, which you told us your parents allowed you to dance in traditional women's clothing for money at parties with men. At that time, it was forbidden for women to dance in public at all. Although this was allowed eye-to-eye, it was not negotiable at home. This experience was the first form of the feeling of “freedom” for you as a young teenager but one with a limitation.

After you left Indonesia, you found yourself in the Europe of the 1970s, where you could and were allowed to unabashedly be yourself as a dancer in Paris. Not soon after that came the all-important operation for you which was performed in Casablanca by renowned gynecologist Dr. Georges Burou, which completed many community ladies including yourself. I have often heard you proudly say; 'When I was on the operating table he addressed me as monsieur, when I woke up again it was mademoiselle. ' Almost like a fairy tale from One Thousand and One Nights.

Not soon after another fairy tale took place, while working in a Berlin dinner-dance you met your great love Eduard. This 19-year-old younger man you finally gave an ultimatum because this Dutch man had to return to his life here in Amsterdam. 'If you don't come get me within now and a month, our relationship is over!' Two weeks later he came to pick you up in Berlin and thus you became a happy and married Amsterdam woman in the late 1980s.
Because of your warmth and feminine beauty, Eduard was always able to love you at all times and therefore also respect your work as a call girl. When I talk to you about the stories of the past, the twinkle in your eyes is always present. I continue to feel very honored that you have told me all these different stories, both work and private about the man you were happy with for more than two decades, until his untimely death in 2009. Because of your work, you had your own financial independence and that is very special as a trans woman of color. You told me several years ago that you never really suffered from any kind of aggression and woes and that doesn't surprise me at all.

Now at your almost 86 years of life you prefer to be referred to as well-groomed woman rather than beautiful woman. Still thoroughly enjoying volunteer work at a parish in Amsterdam East and frequent socializing with friends.

Dear Jill, how incredibly proud I am to have had the opportunity to know you, your positive outlook on life has taken you so far. That is something I admire enormously, for me you are a real role model!

Lots of love,

Alex.