Ode to Monique van Miltenburg | Be yourself, move forward!

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Monique van Miltenburg, an energetic and enterprising woman of almost 62, shares her life story and the challenges she has overcome in this interview. Her experiences, from discovering herself to finding a home in Amsterdam, offer an inspiring perspective on personal growth and self-acceptance.

The beginning of her journey
 

Monique grew up in a large and warm family of six children in the hospitality industry in Bilthoven. Her childhood was filled with energy and excitement, which shaped her own attitude to life. Monique describes herself as a spontaneous, energetic and sociable woman. She has two adolescent daughters from her previous relationship, with whom she fulfills a caring parenting role together with two other fathers.
 

Communication and her drive to reach others are a common thread in her working life. She fulfills various roles in her work, including team lead of the content team at the UWV and giving presentations, talk shows and webinars. She is also an amateur chef.

Connection with Amsterdam
 

Amsterdam has a special meaning for Monique, she has been living there for more than thirty years now. She felt at home immediately upon her arrival. She remembers how students often claimed that Amsterdam was 'their city' after only two months in the city. Monique completely agrees with this, and although she was not born in the city, she feels deeply connected to Amsterdam.
 

She talks about her experiences in the Rivierenbuurt, a neighborhood where she has lived for a long time. She also discusses the places she has lived before, including Utrecht. Monique explains that she has always experienced the city as her home and even if she ever spends time abroad, Amsterdam will always remain her home base.
 

For Monique, Amsterdam means 'freedom', 'zest for life', 'culture' and 'energy'. It is a city that offers the space to be yourself, which is essential to her. She even cites examples of things that can irritate her, such as stupid rules that she believes stifle the city's atmosphere. This love for the city is complemented by the realization that Amsterdam must always keep moving and not get entangled in bureaucratic rules.

An important moment in Monique's life was her coming out at the age of 27. She says it was a particularly difficult step, especially because she grew up as the oldest in a large family with high expectations. She had always wondered whether she should conform to the norms of her environment, but she felt it was not good for her. This ultimately led to her decision to come out. Monique moved from Bilthoven to Utrecht and then to Amsterdam, where the city gave her the freedom to be herself. It was in Amsterdam that she was able to truly discover herself, helped by the open-minded culture that the city offers. This self-discovery, although not easy at first, gave her strength and self-confidence.
 

How her challenge shaped her

The challenge of coming out not only helped Monique accept herself, but also shaped her as an individual. She says that it not only gave her the courage to be who she is, but also strengthened her resilience. The realization that nothing in life is impossible led her to always persevere, regardless of the obstacles. She emphasizes the importance of self-confidence and the power of accepting yourself, because no one can take that away from you. In particular, learning to deal with the fear of rejection gave Monique a new kind of foundation on which to build the rest of her life. It gave her the courage to remain true to herself, regardless of the situation.

Specific moments of self-discovery

Although Monique cannot pinpoint a specific moment of self-discovery, she does describe important events that strengthened her experience. She remembers the years in which she actively participated in the Gay Pride in Amsterdam, where she stood at the front of the boat with her best friend. She emphasizes that it was much more difficult to openly share your identity back then. Such experiences have become more natural for her, and the realization that she can be free in who she is has enabled her to make choices without fear of others' judgments. Monique also talks about her friendships, especially with women, who helped her learn more about herself and further strengthen her identity. She always felt that these were safe spaces where she felt supported and understood.

Inspiring other women
 

Monique believes that her story can inspire other women, especially those who are facing similar challenges. She encourages them not to get stuck in an environment that does not allow them the freedom to be themselves. She believes that Amsterdam is a place where people are given the space to discover themselves, to grow and ultimately to be happy.
 

She says that she wants to inspire her two daughters through her own lifestyle. She wants to show them that it is important to stand up for yourself, be autonomous and never do things you don't want to do. This emphasizes her deep desire to pass on her values of self-love, independence and openness to her children. She wants to set an example for them by the way she leads her own life.

Monique hopes that her story will help others find their own path. She emphasizes the importance of 'movement', not only physically, but also mentally. It is essential to always keep going and look for new possibilities, no matter what life brings your way. According to Monique, life is a continuous process of self-discovery and improvement, and that is what drives her.

The women who have inspired Monique

When Monique is asked which women have been most important to her, she mentions her youngest sister Diana, who has always helped her to speak the truth with love. She says that Diana's honesty and loving directness have had a profound effect on her. She also mentions her mother, who continues to inspire her with her enormous strength and perseverance in caring for her family, despite difficult circumstances.
 

Monique also talks about her oldest friend, Wilma, who always gave her the right advice at the right time. These women, along with many others in her life, are the foundation of who Monique has become and remain a source of support and inspiration.

Monique van Miltenburg's life story is a powerful testament to self-discovery, resilience and the power of community. Her experiences in Amsterdam, her coming out and her relationships with other women have shaped her into a person who not only accepts herself, but also inspires others to do the same. Her message is simple but profound: be yourself, move forward and never give up, no matter what life brings your way.