Ode to Milena Mulders | Power of Dialogue

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Milena Mulders, born in Brunssum in Limburg, has a story rooted in both her South Limburg heritage and her experiences as a woman in the city of Amsterdam. She shares her personal journey with us, discussing her cultural background, the challenges she faced as a woman and her vision of the city of Amsterdam.
 

The journey from Limburg to Amsterdam

Milena grew up in Brunssum, a town in South Limburg, in a bicultural family. Her mother was Slovenian, originally from Yugoslavia, and her father was from Limburg. After growing up there, she moved to Tilburg to study at the School of Journalism. It was her passion for journalism that eventually brought her to Amsterdam, where she started working at the magazine Nieuwe Revu. She began as an intern, and after a while she established herself as a reporter. “I have lived in Amsterdam for 24 years now, but I don't feel like an Amsterdammer. I still feel like a Limburger, although that feeling is changing subtly,” Milena says. She does note, however, that her son, who was born in Amsterdam, feels like a true Amsterdammer, Amsterdam-West even, which strengthens her bond with the city, despite her desire to return to Limburg sometimes.

The city of Amsterdam
 

For Milena, Amsterdam ultimately feels like home, even though the city has undergone major changes over the years. She finds it unfortunate that the city is increasingly geared toward people with money and that the city's 'fringes' are disappearing. “In the early years that I came to live here, Amsterdam was a city full of flamboyant people and squats. It really felt like a city for everyone,” she explains. ”Now I notice that it is slowly disappearing, and the city is becoming less free and crazy and also less accessible to ordinary people.”

Yet she retains a deep love for the city. “I love the super diversity and energy that Amsterdam radiates. It is a place where you can still be yourself, as long as you open yourself up to everything it has to offer,” she says. She also emphasizes the importance of this openness in her work experiences, especially at Onfile, an advocacy organization for refugee journalists where she worked with people from many different backgrounds. “Amsterdam teaches you to open yourself up radically to other people and their different stories. That is something I would recommend to everyone and something I have always shown my son. Growing up in the city is not easy, but with openness and empathy you can get a long way.”

The struggle to be taken seriously

One challenge that Milena has had to overcome is the feeling of not always being taken seriously, especially in her role as a woman in a predominantly male-dominated journalistic world. She explains how her opinion was often overlooked, or that she was confronted with prejudice because of her short stature and accent, which is often considered sweet and cute. “As a woman, you often have to deal with that kind of micro-aggression. It is sometimes difficult to make people aware that mimicking is no longer cute and you just want to be taken seriously,” she says. ”
 

Of course, this has also made her stronger. “It has helped me become a stronger mother. I have always wanted to show my son that you always have a choice. That you never have to wait passively, but can always take control of how you deal with things in life, even when it gets very difficult.”

When asked about the women who have inspired her the most, Milena immediately points to her mother and grandmother. Her grandmother, who came to the Netherlands from Yugoslavia to rebuild her life, was a woman of strength and determination. “My mother and grandmother were both brave enough to leave their country and build a new life. I greatly admire that strength,” she says. Milena is convinced that the courage of women to seek new opportunities, even when they leave everything behind, is essential for progress.
 

In addition to her mother, the Italian journalist Oriana Fallaci has also made a significant impression on her. “She was a woman without fear. She went after everything and wasn't afraid to give her opinion. That still inspires me,” she says.

The importance of dialog and empathy

Milena strongly believes in the power of dialog, listening and empathy as ways to overcome obstacles. “When you are confronted with prejudice or a lack of understanding, it is important to respond out of interest rather than emotion. Try to understand why someone says or does something, and explain how it makes you feel,” she says. ”People often don't realize that they are doing something hurtful. It is important not to immediately go on the attack, but to engage in conversation.” Her approach is focused on openness and vulnerability, which she believes is the most effective way to stand up for yourself without alienating the other person. “But sometimes you just have to bite back,” she says with a laugh.

Life lessons

In closing, Milena talks about the life lessons she hopes to pass on to the next generation. “What I always wanted to teach my son is that you are never powerless. You always have a choice, even if it seems like you have no choice,” she says with conviction, knowing that she is speaking from a privileged position. ”And I hope that he grows up in a world in which women start to take themselves more seriously.
 

Milena's story is a powerful testimony to the challenges that women in Amsterdam and beyond face on a daily basis. It emphasizes the value of openness, self-respect and the importance of good conversation. It is a call to become aware of the invisible barriers that women encounter and to work together towards a world in which everyone is given the space to be themselves and to be heard.